Bad Things Come in Threes

Bad Things Come in Threes

I’m sure you’ve heard this saying before – or at least one like it.  Did you know that this saying communicates a limiting belief? It’s actually a limiting belief of the worst kind because it will attract negative things to you. Let me explain…

You see, your mind likes to be right!  If you have a belief that “bad things come in threes” and something bad happens, your subconscious mind will be on constant alert for the other two bad things…so that it will feel “complete”.  Your mind’s need to be right is so powerful that it may even attract bad things to you.

Remember that your mind works on two levels – the conscious level and the subconscious level.  The conscious level is your “thinking mind” – you are aware of your thoughts.  The subconscious level is the part of your mind you are not consciously aware of – it is where you deep memories, intuition, and belief systems live.

Your subconscious mind is much more powerful than your conscious mind.  Limiting beliefs at the subconscious level can impact your life without you being consciously aware of them.  For that reason, it is important to uncover these limiting beliefs so that you can change them.

The best way to uncover limiting beliefs is to listen to your own language – pay attention to what you say both to yourself and to others.    If you hear yourself say something like, “bad things come in threes” ask yourself, “Is this really true?  Why would I want to believe this?”  Once you’ve uncovered the belief, you have a choice to make – you can either continue with the belief or you can change it.

Changing the belief simply involves recognizing it and consciously deciding to believe something different.  For example, if you want to shift the belief that “bad things come in threes” then each time something negative happens you could say something like, “bad things are one and done.  Good things are coming my way.”  Changing your belief enables you to shut down the negative energy from whatever happened and prepares both your conscious mind and your subconscious mind to create something positive.

The good news is that you can choose your beliefs!

And by the way…good things come in abundance and are headed your way!

If your child struggles with limiting beliefs and you are seeing it hinder her potential and success at school or in life, click here for a complementary consultation and we’ll map out a plan to help her change her belief systems.

Click here to set up a free consultation call.

 

Copyright © 2011 Renaye Thornborrow, AdventuresinWisdom.com. All rights reserved. 

Reprinted with permission from Renaye Thornborrow.

8 Tips for Breaking the Worry Cycle

8 Tips for Breaking the Worry Cycle

Our minds are incredibly powerful.  They have the ability to help us create amazing things…but they also have the ability to torture us.  The perfect example is worrying.

We’ve all experienced worry – it’s a natural human phenomenon. Worry happens when you have thoughts or emotions about a potential threat or problem in the future – when you imagine something going wrong or something bad happening.

This can serve a purpose if you use it to help you identify issues that you can get prepared for.  However it can be detrimental and an energy drain if it leads to rumination and constant feelings of anxiety.

The key to alleviating the worry cycle is to shift worry from anxiety and rumination to concern and preparation.

In this article we will look at a process you can use to step through your worries and several strategies that you can use to ease your mind.

1. The first step is to acknowledge your worries – give them time. The more you try to resist something the more it will persist. It’s like trying not to imagine a green monkey wearing a big orange cowboy hat sitting on a purple giraffe in the middle of your kitchen…you just can’t help it. The best way to stop rumination is to write it down and then go to step two.

2. Second – put boundaries around your worries. Set aside a specific time to focus on your worries. During this time, write down anything that you’re worried about. If something comes up later in the day…just add it to the list and tell yourself that you can think about it tomorrow during your allotted time. The process of writing the worry down lets your mind rest because it knows you’ve got it on the agenda.

3. Third change your language. Language is a very powerful tool – it creates your experience. Instead of using the word “worried” which automatically triggers a feeling of anxiety in most people, use the word “concerned” followed by the word “prepared”. For example instead of saying, “I am worried about the economy and losing my job” you could say, “I am concerned about the economy and losing my job. To get prepare I am going to examine my budget and add to my emergency savings fund. I might also consider a part time job.”

4. Fourth shift your worry into action. Tell your mind what you are going to do about the situation. For each concern map out a plan. Put it in writing so that each time that concern comes up you can ease your mind by reviewing your plan.

5. Focus on what you want NOT on what you don’t want. Your mind is very powerful. Your thoughts trigger both your conscious mind and your subconscious mind to create whatever you focus on. Each time you worry it strengthens the neural pathways in your brain about that problem. To reprogram your brain, focus on what you want – not on what you don’t want. This will retrain your brain to help you create what you want. Visualization and affirmations are powerful tools to help you do this.

6. Sixth, focus on what is working in your life, not on what is not working. Shifting worry thoughts to thoughts of gratitude can help ease your mind and create positive energy throughout your body. Did you know that multiple research studies have shown that practicing gratitude actually creates happiness? Positive energy and positive thoughts are essential for creating what you want in your life.

7. Seventh, look at what you can control versus what you can’t control. If the thing you are worried about is something you can control, such as building up your savings account, then take action on that. However, if it’s is something that you have no control over, such as when someone dies, then worrying about it only creates negative energy that doesn’t serve you. Depending on your spiritual beliefs, you may want to create a “ritual” or practice where you turn over your worries to that which is greater than you.

8. Eight, adopt a practice that can help you relax. Many people find that meditation, exercise, or journaling can help them ease their mind. A daily practice of relaxation can help neutralize the impact of worrying

Finally, remember that worrying and rumination doesn’t serve you – it steals the beauty of the present moment and can rob you of your happiness.  Learning to focus on what you can do versus things outside of your control can lead to a feeling of personal power versus feeling like a victim of the future.

Worry is a phenomenon that our kids will also experience.  One of the greatest gifts you can give them is to teach them how to turn worry into action.

At the root of many worries are fears. The packages in the Adventures in Wisdom™ program are designed to address fears children may have. Some fears stem from a lack of confidence, trying something new, or a fear of failing. In the Slaying Dragons™ and MePower™ coaching packages, kids learn effective and practical techniques to bust through the tough stuff of life, like fears that cause excessive worry. To see videos and testimonials from actual case studies, visit my website at www.authorlisaphillips.net, or email me with your questions at reply@authorlisaphillips.net.

Copyright © 2011 Renaye Thornborrow, AdventuresinWisdom.com. All rights reserved.

Reprinted with permission from Renaye Thornborrow.

How to figure out the perfect time to go for your goal!

How to figure out the perfect time to go for your goal!

And what to share with your kids.

You may have heard statements like these before…

  • As soon as I have more money…
  • As soon as I lose weight…
  • As soon as I’m a little older

…then I’ll go for my goal!

 

When deciding the “perfect time” to go for your goal… you must look out for a sneaky dream-stealer called conditional thinking.

Conditional thinking occurs when you think that something must happen before you go for your goal.

To spot conditional thinking, listen for the words, “if” followed by “then” (may also hear the words “when” followed by “then”).  Here are some more specific examples:

  • “If my boss wasn’t such a jerk, then I’d enjoy my job.”
  • When I lose 10 pounds, then I’ll buy new clothes.”
  • If I was younger, then I would start a business.”
  • “If I was older, then I would start a business.”

The  problem with conditional thinking is that you become a victim to your circumstances or limiting beliefs versus standing in your power to create what you really want in your life.

You see, the secret to creating what you really want is to declare your dreams based on what you truly want in life…and then managing away the circumstances.  The mistake that most people make is that they look at their current circumstances and then whittle down their dreams down to fit within those constraints.

So how can you break up conditional thinking?

  • The first step is to recognize it is happening and to challenge the statement or belief. Are you really too old to start a business?  Mary Kay Ash started her company, Mary Kay Cosmetics, when she was 50 years old!
  • The second step is to take action…even if it’s just one small step in the direction of your goal. Action puts a “stake in the ground” and lets the Universe know that you are serious about achieving that goal.  It also triggers the reticular activating system of your brain to look out for anything that can help you achieve that goal [1].
  • And the third step is to reprogram your self-talk. Reframe the conditional thinking into an affirmation that works for you.  Instead of saying ““I’m too old to go back to school.” You could say, “I’m a lifelong learner and taking action on my next big dream.” (By the way, if you’re 40 years old today…in 4 years you’re going to be 44.  You can either be 44 years old with a college degree or 44 years old without one…time is going to pass either way.)

The perfect time to go for your goal is now…even if it just means taking a small step in the direction of that goal!  Earning to recognize and shift conditional thinking is a skill that all kids must learn.

To learn how to break up conditional thinking or limiting beliefs in your child, the Adventures in Wisdom™ program for kids teaches kids how to bust through the “if…then” mindset and shift their negative self-talk into personal affirmations that help them take their first steps towards their goals. If you’d like more information, go to www.authorlisaphillips.net to see more about this proven program that is helping kids all around the world.

 

Copyright © 2011 Renaye Thornborrow, AdventuresinWisdom.com. All rights reserved. 

Reprinted with permission from Renaye Thornborrow.

 

[1] See skill book 4, “The Secret Radar in Your Brain – How to use Your RAS to Achieve Your Goals”.

Using the 7 Types of Intelligences to Help Your Kids Discover Their Gifts

Using the 7 Types of Intelligences to Help Your Kids Discover Their Gifts

Grades, “IQ” tests, and other standardized tests have caused major debates amongst parents and the education community because many believe they don’t measure the “whole child”.

Although these tests might predict how a child will perform in school, they don’t predict which children will become powerful leaders, accomplished composers, unique artists, great musicians, creative inventors, professional athletes, top-ranked sales people, inspirational teachers, spiritual leaders, or great writers.

In his ground breaking book “Frames of Mind:  The Theory of Multiple Intelligences”, Harvard Psychology Professor Howard Gardner asked a different question.  Instead of asking “How smart are you?” he asked the question “How are you smart?”

What a powerful question for parents to explore with their kids!

In his book Gartner outlines 7 different segments of intelligence.  Although each person exhibits some level of ability in all areas, most people tend to shine in two or three areas.  As parents and mentors we have an opportunity to help our kids explore each of these segments in more depth so they can discover and further develop their natural talents and abilities.

The 7 intelligences are grouped into what Gardner calls three different “frames of mind”:

  • Linguistic Intelligence and Logical-mathematical Intelligence which are categorized as “academic” and emphasized by public schools and IQ tests.
  • Musical Intelligence, Bodily-kinesthetic Intelligence, and Visual-spatial Intelligence which tend to be categorized as artistic abilities.
  • Interpersonal Intelligence and Intrapersonal Intelligence which are categorized as “people skills”.

Let’s understand each in more detail and look at how we can help our kids explore each area.

Linguistic Intelligence

Children with strong linguistic intelligence tend to think in words.  They love to read, write, play word games, study foreign languages, etc.  Professions include areas such as writers, journalists, interpreters, and attorneys. If you think your child has talent in this area, he can explore it further by participating in a journalism club or debate club, by writing, or by studying a foreign language.

Logical-mathematical Intelligence

Children with strong logical-mathematical intelligence tend to think conceptually.  They love numbers, patterns, mathematics, and science.  Professions include areas such as engineering, computer science, research science, medicine, and accounting.  Schools provide a lot of opportunities for children to explore this area of intelligence.

Visual-spatial Intelligence

Children with strong spatial intelligence are strong at working in three dimensions.  They tend to love maps, models, and building things.  Professions include areas such as architecture and interior design, photography, engineering, and mechanics.  You can help your child develop in this area by giving her models to build (including Legos!), having her create maps, or by taking a photography class.

Bodily-kinesthetic Intelligence

Children with strong Kinesthetic Intelligence tend to process knowledge through physical touch.  They will learn more by doing an activity versus reading about the activity.   Professions include areas such as sports, dancing, theatre, firefighter, and any work that requires them to be good with their hands.  If you think your child has a natural intelligence in this area encourage her to explore many avenues of physical expression – sports, dance, acting, sewing, woodworking, etc.

Musical Intelligence

Children with strong musical intelligence tend to think in terms of sounds and rhythms.  Professions include areas such as performing and/or composing music.  Encourage your child to study a musical instrument, participate in a choir, and explore a wide variety of music genres.

Interpersonal Intelligence

Children with strong interpersonal intelligence understand people – they are good with communication, relationships, and getting along with others.  Professions include areas such as teaching, counseling, marketing and sales, management, non-profits, medicine, and politics.  Provide opportunities for your child to work with and lead others.  Examples include participating in Boy Scouts/Girl Scouts, mentoring programs, volunteer organizations, and other clubs.

Intrapersonal Intelligence

Children with strong intrapersonal intelligence really understand themselves.  They are deep thinkers and tend to be self-motivated.  Professions include writing, philosophy, psychology, clergy, and art.  If your child exhibits strengths in this area, give her time to be alone to think and create.

So why is understanding these areas of intelligence so important?

First, if your child tends to struggle in the traditional classroom finding other areas where he can excel can greatly enhance his self-esteem and joy in life.  Whenever kids feel they are good at something it enhances their self-esteem and self-confidence.

Second, when kids understand more about “how they are smart”, it enables them to choose extracurricular activities, classes, and careers that leverage their strengths and natural abilities.

And finally, even if your child does well in school, exploring all areas of intelligence will empower your kids to find their passion and purpose in life.  When people create lives based on a passion and a sense of purpose they tend to live happy fulfilling lives.

I invite you to share this article with your kids and have fun exploring!

I am a certified life coach for children using the Adventures in Wisdom™ program, a proven system to help children overcome areas such as limited thinking, developing self-confidence and self-esteem, developing respect, bullying, overcoming fears or major changes, how to make friends, etc. There are 27 areas broken up into 5- or 6-week packages.  First, I work with parents to determine the area their child needs help with and together we decide on which package of skills to work with your child on. To see videos, testimonials or to get more information go to www.authorlisaphillips.net or email me with your questions at reply@authorlisaphillips.net.

 

Copyright © 2011 Renaye Thornborrow, AdventuresinWisdom.com. All rights reserved. 

Reprinted with permission from Renaye Thornborrow.

Three Things to Teach Your Kids About Being Mindful

Three Things to Teach Your Kids About Being Mindful

Three Things to Teach Your Kids About Being Mindful

“Mindfulness” is about being in touch with the present moment — paying attention to what is happening now – your thoughts, your feelings and your way of being.

Practicing mindfulness is a powerful tool for creating a sense of well-being, for managing stress, and for creating overall good health. Therefore, it is an important skill to teach our kids.

There are three things to teach your kids about being mindful:

  • First teach them to look for the “grungies”. Grungies are “negative feelings” such as fear, anxiety, frustration, and worry which often come from thoughts about the past or concerns about the future.  These thoughts steal the present moment.  Teach your kids that whenever they feel the grungies, they can regain focus on the present moment by taking three slow deep breaths.  This “time out” enables them to become mindful of their current thoughts and to gently change their thoughts to something that support them.
  • Second teach them to be mindful of their self-talk. What they say to themselves is more important than what anyone else says to them.  Supportive self-talk is the foundation for creating a peaceful state of mind, building positive self-esteem, and developing powerful self-confidence.
  • Third, teach them to be mindful when they are with others. Every time they are with someone they leave a “mark” — either a “gold heart” or a “black mark” depending on how they treat them.  Show your kids that when they choose kindness and use manners they leave “gold hearts” everywhere.

Practicing mindfulness by focusing on current feelings and thoughts, choosing supportive self-talk, and being respectful towards others will enable our kids to create more peaceful and “connected” lives.

Life Coaching for Kids can help your child struggling with these issues. Through a well-developed and proven program, using story-telling, and activities, the Adventures in Wisdom ™ program will help your child with changing her mindset to promote positive self-talk that will open their awareness about being mindful of leaving a “gold heart” with others, and bringing fears and anxieties down . To learn more, email me at: reply@authorlisaphillips.net

Copyright © 2011 Renaye Thornborrow, AdventuresinWisdom.com. All rights reserved. 

Reprinted with permission from Renaye Thornborrow.

 

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